Thru Her BrownEyes

Hello everyone, We'll it's been quite some time hasn't it. Blogging has been a past time for me for a few years now. I have enjoyed it as a outlet to all the madness I call "my life". So fret not I won't be straying from you again! That's right you have my word. Where to begin....well let's see. I changed my YouTube channel name. Why??? Many things in my life have caused me to stop and really look at my life and all involved in it, once I did that I was able to change my perspective. This new perspective has changed how I feel and which direction I am going in next. I have evolved from my past into something better; something new. So lets first tell you all that's gone down. First and foremost I have to mention my mother. She is a bipolar schizophrenic, yes there I finally said it. She has been this way all my life. But one day soon we will dive more into those waters. So anyway she had a breakdown as I like to call it and had to be hospitalized...

One of my first relationships was one that lasted for 5 years. I know my first boyfriend, and we stuck it out that long. I was showered with gifts, thinking that was love. It was his expression of it for sure, but he didn't want the things I did. Near year 3 and 4 we had lost our common goal. He wanted to be with many women, not to be tied into a partnership. I wanted to be in control and demanded attention. Believe it or not that relationship ended in a "sorta" engagment. The day he brought me the ring he didn't do it in a romantic way. It was however unforgettable. He chucked it across the room yelling "here you wanna get married, fine!" And that was the end of that. There were a few men inbeween but none that really stuck out. A few I got along great with, and some who even my friends thought was the one. Turned out none of those were. The next big relationship was a chart topper. This guy every girl wanted. All my friends were jealous of me. He was char...

Over the past year I have been giving myself, my time and resources to other people. In a perfect world all of that would be fine and wonderful...but this world is far from perfect. Although you are expected to be just that. I have had to step back and watch, take a rearview look if you will. You see all of the people I have tried to help and support, were very much grateful for my assistance. They smiled and told me how much of a great help I had been to them. The problem is, that not many of them have returned the favor. I was left drained and alone. Angry and restentful. God wants us to help others even if it takes away from what we have, for the Lord will provide for us and our needs if we trust him. There was something that I forgot all about, myself. You cannot give to others if you have nothing to give. There were even times when I had only enough patience and time for myself and still I was bribed to give what was left. This didn't work, I kept what I had and left that ind...

Don't you want to make my day by following my blog? I thought so! Your so sweet! :) Did you know that you can follow my blog? This means that when new post are available you'll be the first to know about it. It's very simple and easy to do. Here's more info on how to get started.  Look to your right and click the "Follow" button. It's that simple. Who knows what you"ll find here. I blog about just about anything from makeup reviews, to reality tv. Did you know you can even stay updated on my YouTube channel: Monika Marie (Monikathediva) from my blog page?! How cool is that? If you want to view a video I've posted on YouTube you can just click right on the video icons and it will direct you straight to my channel. Check back often to see what's new  on my blog/to view videos, or  just to see what has changed. You never know I just might be interested in your blog too! I'm learning more about blogging everyday. Comment below if you'...

Have you ever been told to do something by your mother and you didn't do it? In fact, you did the exact opposite of what she asked just because "you can"...only to find out later that you just ruined your chance to get to see your favorite musical artist perform?! OR maybe she called off your surprise birthday party until your attitude adjusts. What you didn't know was that at that concert, or party you would have met someone who would have changed your life forever had you acted accordingly. Sometimes this happens to us in life but instead of it being mom who takes something wonderful away it's you yourself. God has many things in store for us but only IF we do things as he asks. If we create our own way we block blessings. You can change the course of things permanently with one small mistake. Ever hear of the "Butterfly Effect"? This is why it is so important to THINK (something I'm working on: as Steve Harvey says...He ain't thru with me ye...

Hey everybody! I wanted to speak on this subject and find out how you guys feel. This is something I've had to face for at least the last ten years of my life. I myself do not have any children; nor do I have children in my life that I treat or love as my own. I grew up in a broken home, my parents divorced when I was very young. Each household i lived in both of my parents began to see other people. For me the experience was not good at all. At one house the female (step mom) thought and often reminded me that she should come first. She wanted quality time and money that I felt should belong to me. No one acted as if we were a family because we felt as if we weren't.I was his kid and she his girlfriend.  In the second house there was a lack of respect, but I always felt as if I were put first. I liked feeling this way. This home felt more like a family, but there was still a underling weird feeling surrounding all of it. As an adult I was very careful of who...