Scattered Thoughts
Well happy December! Seems like it was just New Years...that is a day I can never forget...In just 27 days I will be married for one year. Most celebrities don't even make it that far. I take a deep breath out and relax into it. I'ts a relief.
So what to tell you about today, well lets start with how I'm feeling. Not well..I woke up with ear pain which I almost never have and it was quite painful, then there is the headache that I have had since yesterday. I asked the lady in medical for a pain pill and she gave me a response like I was an addict...I do not like her much, I want to but she just annoys me at every turn with the judgy eyes and the way she says things like she knows best...I would blame my PMS but I have felt like this around her before. So I'll just blame her instead.
What I have been loving is writing, it feels like never before. I feel so much more relaxed as if I went without writing I would probably have so much pent up inside me that I would feel like I'm going to burst. However this site is not the greatest...I have a easier time writing in Word document than here. But I love that I can come back and its like a journal and one which I can share with the world or not. I have chosen to share a post with the world once a month. I will always post on the first of that month and the post topics will be random and free spirited thoughts.
Today my senses are on overload. I watched a clip of Katy Perry and she spoke about how she has felt so sad and depressed that she didn't want to go on. She said it made her feel ashamed and I can relate with that completely. That was deep for me I often feel ashamed to feel anything that is not strong or tough. If I'm not in control I feel out of control. I have been working on being nice to myself and not pushing too hard because I am human and I will make mistakes. I'ts good that I try very hard but I need to know when too much is too much. Right now I just see this vision of me where I am happy with my body and that gives me the confidence to be happy with where I am mentally. That achieving that goal will open the door to many other things that I feel blocked to right now.
I hope that you were able to follow this post and that it made some kind of sense to you. If not sorry not sorry haha. Today as you can see I am scattered, me being sick is totally throwing me off. Well folks that's all for today I'm off to buy wine and grab a quick dinner. I hope your weekend is amaze balls
So what to tell you about today, well lets start with how I'm feeling. Not well..I woke up with ear pain which I almost never have and it was quite painful, then there is the headache that I have had since yesterday. I asked the lady in medical for a pain pill and she gave me a response like I was an addict...I do not like her much, I want to but she just annoys me at every turn with the judgy eyes and the way she says things like she knows best...I would blame my PMS but I have felt like this around her before. So I'll just blame her instead.
What I have been loving is writing, it feels like never before. I feel so much more relaxed as if I went without writing I would probably have so much pent up inside me that I would feel like I'm going to burst. However this site is not the greatest...I have a easier time writing in Word document than here. But I love that I can come back and its like a journal and one which I can share with the world or not. I have chosen to share a post with the world once a month. I will always post on the first of that month and the post topics will be random and free spirited thoughts.
Today my senses are on overload. I watched a clip of Katy Perry and she spoke about how she has felt so sad and depressed that she didn't want to go on. She said it made her feel ashamed and I can relate with that completely. That was deep for me I often feel ashamed to feel anything that is not strong or tough. If I'm not in control I feel out of control. I have been working on being nice to myself and not pushing too hard because I am human and I will make mistakes. I'ts good that I try very hard but I need to know when too much is too much. Right now I just see this vision of me where I am happy with my body and that gives me the confidence to be happy with where I am mentally. That achieving that goal will open the door to many other things that I feel blocked to right now.
I hope that you were able to follow this post and that it made some kind of sense to you. If not sorry not sorry haha. Today as you can see I am scattered, me being sick is totally throwing me off. Well folks that's all for today I'm off to buy wine and grab a quick dinner. I hope your weekend is amaze balls
Comments
Post a Comment